Day of Thanks for December 15


Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22: The Arctic Monkeys are British rockers who have produced five studio albums, which together have sold almost five million copies. Rolling Stone magazine called their first album, released in 2006, the 30th greatest debut of all time. Yet when they first formed in 2002, none of them could play a musical instrument. I see the current era of your life, Leo, as having a similar potential. How might you start from scratch to create something great?

Oh Rob. You just keep making me smile from ear to ear. The more I research design, the more I am becoming convinced that the Ginger Shack is going to be stunning.


Day of Thanks for December 7

GA - TELL IT LIKELeo Jul 23 | Aug 22: What feelings or subjects have you been wanting to talk about, but have not yet been able to? Are there messages you are aching to convey to certain people, but can’t summon the courage to be as candid as you need to be? Can you think of any secrets you’ve been keeping for reasons that used to be good but aren’t good any more? The time has come to relieve at least some of that tension, Leo. I suggest you smash your excuses, break down barriers, and let the revelations flow. If you do, you will unleash unforeseen blessings.


For the past 10 years I have been going to see a naturopath/therapist. On my first visit he told me I was the most segmented person he had ever met. This was not a positive trait nor a negative, just his opinion. At that time I did not agree or disagree but there was definitely some validity to that statement. At the beginning of my relationship with Marty, I simply went in and talked, having no real idea what it was that I needed to work on, I just knew that I was in a state of discomfort with my person. He is really amazing at his job and after an hour of conversation he can pull out 5 sentences and ask , “Do you think this might be what you mean?” Sometimes in the beginning I would be annoyed with him because truthfully… ignorance is bliss. Once you start to become aware of yourself, it becomes really hard to hide from yourself.

Two years ago, I told him some random childhood stories about feeling like a boy and being mistaken for a boy. By today’s standards, I think people would have wondered if I was going to be transgendered but back then I was just a real “tomboy.” Had I known about the word lesbian sooner, I think that there would have been a much shorter ‘boy’ phase in my life. I have always been driven my emotions, never really do a lot of research before making a decision so everything I felt, when reflected back by the world I lived in, indicated that I should have been born male. Couple that with the most brilliant, ahead of their time, open minded parents and you get 14 years of ‘living in the wrong body.’ I have never really thought much about this part of my life because it has alway simply been my childhood, and it was an awesome one.

After that conversation, Marty changed up my remedy to work on my gender issues. That change has slowly been transforming my life and it has been a really strange and sometimes painful roller coaster ride. Its a beautiful thing to begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin but for me those moments have been ringed with anger, frustration and sadness. I wonder what type of woman I would be today if I was born in a time when homosexuality was not a taboo topic. I go through moments were I want to be more feminine, more ‘woman’ (an imagine that I have created in my head to define what that is). I don’t regret my childhood, I like looking like a woman and thinking like a man, because that is a powerful combination. I think I regret my drunken 20s where everything about being female and gay was painful and hard.

After I have my moments of  anger, frustration and sadness, I have a laugh because I know if it was not my gender and sexuality, then it would have been some other topic. Maybe for many of us, the 20s are just about growing into yourself. Either way for the first time ever, I know exactly what I want to talk about at my next session.

GA-YOU BE YOUAnd on a lovely note … This past Saturday I was at my good friend’s place for dinner. It was her, her boyfriend and his son, who up until about 6 months ago was his 14 year old daughter. I find it amazing that 25 years ago I was afraid to be gay and now kids my age are redefining their gender. Mind blowing progress Canada!

Day of Thanks for December 1

text1Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22 I know you’re beautiful, and you know you’re beautiful. But I think you could be even more beautiful than you already are. What do you think? Have you reached the limits of how beautiful you can be? Or will you consider the possibility that there is even more beauty lying dormant within you, ready to be groomed and expressed? I encourage you to ruminate on these questions: 1. Are you hiding a complicated part of your beauty because it would be hard work to liberate it? 2. Are you afraid of some aspect of your beauty because revealing it would force you to acknowledge truths about yourself that are at odds with your self-image? 3. Are you worried that expressing your full beauty would intimidate other people?

Wow. My least favorite topic.

I spent the first 14 years of my life living in a body that I did not like or want. At that point in my life, I did not know I was gay, I just knew that I liked girls and would rather be a boy. The next 18 years were spent learning to grow into my hips and boobs and the fact that I was a woman who loved women. At 32, I grew tired of thinking about my sexuality, my gender, the shape of my body and decided that I was simply going to be me.

Answer to question 1: I had to teach myself to look in a mirror because when you spend the first third of your life living outside of your body you develop a strange relationship with it. I began this process only 4 years ago.

Answer to question 2: Two years ago I decided that matching bra and panties, heels and purses where the best thing ever. I really like being a woman but this time back in 2012 ago I was going around to my friends whispering that I think I need to come out again … all of the ‘boyish’ things I used to love where beginning to feel as constrictive as all of the ‘girlish’ things that used to be expected of me.

Answer to question 3: No. Beauty comes from the inside out. I am good with the word beautiful.

Day of Thanks for November 24

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALeo Jul 23 | Aug 22: Naturalist Greg Munson says that many dragonflies are great acrobats. They are the “Cirque du Soleil” performers of the animal kingdom. Not only do they eat in mid-air, they also have sex. While flying, two dragonflies will hook up and bend into a roughly circular formation to accommodate the idiosyncrasies of their reproductive organs, thereby forming a “mating pinwheel.” I don’t expect you to achieve quite that level of virtuosity in your own amorous escapades, Leo. But if you’re adventurous, you could very well enjoy experiences that resemble having sex while flying.

Right now that is what my life looks like. A long hallway with lots of options being presented.  I feel like I am being adventurous right now and Rob is telling me that it could resemble having sex while flying …. this is a much better imagine than the hallway.

Day of Thanks for November 17

me and my tentLeo Jul 23 | Aug 22: For much of its history, the United States claimed ownership of the ocean within three miles of its coasts. That changed in 1988, when the federal government declared that hereafter it would have sovereignty over the ocean as far as 12 miles from land. With that action, American territory increased dramatically. I invite you to consider a comparable expansion in the coming months, Leo. Seize more space. Seek further privileges. Ask for a bigger piece of everything.

On Friday I asked a larger number of people for help and it was amazing what came of that. A lot of people can give a little and 1 other person will be better off. That one person who is about to be better off is not me but a really good friend of mine.

On Saturday I was given the chance to buy into a 3000 square foot home in Toronto. At the end of this year I will own a condo and home in Toronto plus 23 acres of land up North.

When I moved to Toronto 14 years ago, I could not afford rent and was taken in for 6 months by a pretty amazing couple. My formula for success; handwork (no work is above you), live small and within your means, pay attention, give back and always budget a little bit each month for a random adventure (that is really why we are alive). Patience and persistence and when the moment is right….. Seize more space. Seek further privileges. Ask for a bigger piece of everything. And take as many people up with you as possible.

Day of Thanks for November 10

CIALeo Jul 23 | Aug 22: By the time we have become young adults, most of us don’t remember much about our lives from before the age of five. As we grow into middle age, more and more childhood memories drop away. Vague impressions and hazy feelings may remain. A few special moments keep burning brightly. But the early events that shaped us are mostly gone. Having said that, I want to alert you to the fact that you are in a phase when you could recover whole swaths of lost memories, both from your formative years and later. Take advantage of this rare window of opportunity to reconnect with your past.


Today I told a friend of mine that I felt I was in a hyper state of learning. I don’t even know how to get into that statement other than to say it is really calming to start to have everything in you line up.

At work we are practicing C.I.A. Which is Control, Influence, Accept. Ask yourself that, have a honest think, then get on with it.


Day of Thanks for November 3

up gg Halloween14-10Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22: This is one of those rare times when it’s OK for you to just throw out the dirty dishes that you are too lazy to wash. It’s also permissible to hide from a difficult person, spend money on a supposedly foolish indulgence, eat a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, binge-watch a TV show that provokes six months’ worth of emotions in a few hours, and lie in bed for an extra hour fantasizing about sex with a forbidden partner. Don’t make any of these things habits, of course. But for now, it’s probably healthy to allow them. Halloween costume suggestion: total slacker.


The year that I was a mermaid for Halloween (2002) was the year that I started to follow Rob rather seriously. I had come up with the costume on my own and stumbled on his column and low and behold that was his suggestion. When I read this one I was like … “Hell no, I am going as an UrbanPrairie Girl Guide!” Turns out he is right. Halloween, Nuit Blanche are not the best times to try to engage people in anything other than super fun conversation and awesome dance moves. Friday was a good night out in Toronto but not really a time to go out and do my pitch. Timing is everything.


Day of Thanks for October 27

LOTTERY Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22: What are those new whisperings in your head? Are they messages from your inner teacher? Beacons beamed back through time from the Future You? Clues from the wise parts of your unconscious mind? Whatever they are, Leo, pay attention. These signals from the Great Beyond may not be clear yet, but if you are sufficiently patient, they will eventually tell you how to take advantage of a big plot twist. But here’s a caveat: Don’t automatically believe every single thing the whisperings tell you. Their counsel may not be 100-percent accurate. Be both receptive and discerning toward them.


When you decide to pack up your life and head out into the great unknown there is a constant stream of thoughts in your head. It is really interesting how quickly doubt can set in and it is heart warming to know that a random compliment from someone you really respect can pull your courage back out of you. Just to be on the safe side I think I will still pick up the occasional lotto ticket. Appears I already own one of the dreams so why not see if they will give me another one.


Day of Thanks for October 20

how do you love

Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22: You can’t give what you don’t have. Here’s a corollary: You can sort of half-give what you half-have, but that may lead to messy complications and turn out to be worse than giving nothing at all. So here’s what I recommend: Devote yourself to acquiring a full supply of what you want to give. Be motivated by the frustration you feel at not being able to give it yet. Call on your stymied generosity to be the driving force that inspires you to get the missing magic. When you’ve finally got it, give it.

It is really interesting dating a friend and it is really different dating someone with a child but it is pretty amazing dating someone who is emotionally aware and available. Makes figuring things like this out safe and fun.

Day of Thanks for October 13


Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22: American author Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) was ahead of his time. He created the genre of the detective story and mastered the art of gothic horror tales. According to the Internet Movie Database, 240 films have referenced themes from his work. British writer Aldous Huxley wasn’t a fan of Poe, though. He said Poe was “too poetical – the equivalent of wearing a diamond ring on every finger.” Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect you may be at risk of lapsing into a diamond-ring-on-every-finger phase yourself, Leo. While I am all in favour of your unveiling more of your radiant beauty, I’m hoping you won’t go too far. How about wearing diamond rings on just four of your fingers?


I was just about to compose a post for FaceBook to explain how I just tied my blog to FaceBook and how I am now going to use FB to get me to the final platform, my own website. I was also going to do a post a day and walk them through the whole thinking process because that is what I did my first year here. Then I realized it was a bit much. The amount you say and the size of the crowd you are speaking to is an inverse relationship. Less is more. Simple. This is why right wing politician rein supreme in the strangest way. Parallel universe is going on. I am slowly stepping into their world but with my words.

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