Day of Thanks for December 1

text1Leo Jul 23 | Aug 22 I know you’re beautiful, and you know you’re beautiful. But I think you could be even more beautiful than you already are. What do you think? Have you reached the limits of how beautiful you can be? Or will you consider the possibility that there is even more beauty lying dormant within you, ready to be groomed and expressed? I encourage you to ruminate on these questions: 1. Are you hiding a complicated part of your beauty because it would be hard work to liberate it? 2. Are you afraid of some aspect of your beauty because revealing it would force you to acknowledge truths about yourself that are at odds with your self-image? 3. Are you worried that expressing your full beauty would intimidate other people?

Wow. My least favorite topic.

I spent the first 14 years of my life living in a body that I did not like or want. At that point in my life, I did not know I was gay, I just knew that I liked girls and would rather be a boy. The next 18 years were spent learning to grow into my hips and boobs and the fact that I was a woman who loved women. At 32, I grew tired of thinking about my sexuality, my gender, the shape of my body and decided that I was simply going to be me.

Answer to question 1: I had to teach myself to look in a mirror because when you spend the first third of your life living outside of your body you develop a strange relationship with it. I began this process only 4 years ago.

Answer to question 2: Two years ago I decided that matching bra and panties, heels and purses where the best thing ever. I really like being a woman but this time back in 2012 ago I was going around to my friends whispering that I think I need to come out again … all of the ‘boyish’ things I used to love where beginning to feel as constrictive as all of the ‘girlish’ things that used to be expected of me.

Answer to question 3: No. Beauty comes from the inside out. I am good with the word beautiful.

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